The Boyfriend List
by justbornawesome
Summary: Elaine's seventh year at Hogwarts is slowly taking a turn for the worst.This year she had managed to fall in love with the guy she used despise,now ex-boyfriend Sirius Black. But in the last few months: she has lost BF, her friends & became a famous whore


Hello there! I took the idea from the boyfriend list by E. Lockhart so credit all to her. Also, the writing style of this story is inspired by Mibamonster "Frogs and Lollipops" story, so credit all to her as well. Hope you enjoy. Please review this is my first OC story.

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><p><span>The Boyfriend List<span>

**Chapter 1:** _The List_

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><p><strong>Here it is, the Boyfriend List<strong>

1. Gilderoy Lockhart ( but he doesn't count)

2. Snape (but I rather not think about it)

3. Fabian (but it was just from afar)

5. Remus (but people just thought so)

6. Tommy(but it was impossible)

6. Xenophilius Lovegood (but it was all in his mind)

7. Pettigrew (but I SO didn't want to)

8. Kingsly Shackbolt( but it was just one kiss)

9. Mattew (but he didn't call)

10. Sirius (yes, okay, he was my boyfriend. Don't ask me about it!)

11. Dirk (but it was just a date)

12. James (but it was a rumor)

13. Mulciber (but I'm undecided)

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><p><span>Wednesday, May 18<span>

**7:00**

Dear diary,

Before you even start to think to call me a slut — or a floozy — or even just imagine I'm incredibly popular — let me point out that the above list includes absolutely _every_ single boy I have ever had the slightest, little, any-kind-of-anything with.

Boys I've _never_ kissed are on this list.

Boys I've _never_ even talked to are on this list.

Now those we all of that taken care of let me explain the only reason of your existence. Doctor Z force me to get you. Simple enough for you?

Doctor Z is my shrink and she says that for purposes of the list, the boyfriends don't have to be official. Official, unofficial — she says it doesn't matter, so long as I remember the boy and something about what happened.

The list was a homework assignment for my mental health. She told me to write down all the boyfriends, kind-of boyfriends, almost-boyfriends, rumored boyfriends and wished-he-were boyfriends I've ever had. Plus, she recommended I take up knitting.

I still have some doubts about Doctor Z, though by now I've been seeing her for almost four months. I mean, if I knew a 17 year-old who sat around knitting sweaters all day, I'd definitely think she had some mental health problems.

WHAT HAPPENED, YOU WANT TO KNOW?

In the same ten days I –

lost my boyfriend (boy #10)

lost my best friend

lost all my other friends

did something shockingly advanced with boy #13

did something suspicious with boy #9

drank firequisky for the first time

lost a Quidditch game

failed my charms quiz

had an argument with boy #15

got "temporality" kicked out from the Quidditch team.

and became a famous slut.

Enough to give anyone panic attacks, right?

**16:00**

I'm back. Did you miss me? Wait, you didn't? Well that's a rude thing to say, slut. Anyways, I reread what I said previously and I noticed that I kind of bombed you with so much information and you don't even know my name. Sorry, I must have forgotten my manners somewhere along the misery that has become my life. Oh look at me telling you my pity problems without a proper introduction. Mom must be so ashamed.

Well let me go a bit slower for you 'dear diary'. My name is Elaine Lewis, simple enough for you? I'm a half-blood witch and I'm attending my 7th year in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hogwarts is pretty much rule by four boys who called themselves the Marauders. These boys are: bookish Remus Lupin (boy #5), daft Peter Pettigrew (boy #7), Quidditch captain James Potter (boy #12), and heartbreaker Sirius Black (boy #10). Wow, written in paper it sounds like an odd friendship. Any who, these four are the most popular people in all of Hogwarts.

They are pranksters, I know it sounds odd to hear a bookworm like Remus be such a prankster, but I'm pretty sure he's the mastermind behind it all. Anyways, back to the point, being around them is automatic popularity. Even if it's with dumb and unattractive Pettigrew. So of course when it became known that I somehow got "involve" with all of them, I was everything that everyone talks about. I think I might be as popular as the Marauders now; I'm everything everyone seems talks about after all. But not for all the right reasons. Oh by the way, I did NOT get involve with all of them! So please don't think so poor of me.

Well, I think that's enough about the Marauders for now. Let me tell you about my group of friends, well my former group of friends. There's Noeleen: She has silky brown hair, almost at her waist and glinting brown eyes. There's Sophie: hair that rippled down her back, eyes black matching the shade of her hair. There's my former best friend, Annabel: flowing golden locks and a striking azure gaze that is usually overshadowed by pounds of makeup. And, then there's me.

Oh, you expecting me to tell you what I look like? I'm not telling you what I look like in any detail. I hate that endless description of a heroine's physical attributes: "she had piercing blue eyes and a heaving milk white bosom blah blah blah" or "She hated her frizzy hair and fat ankles blah blah, blah." First of all, it's boring.

You should be able to imagine me without all the gory details of my hairstyle or the size of my thighs.

And second, it really bothers me how in books it seems like the only two choices are perfection or self-hatred. As if readers will only like a character that's ideal — or completely shattered, Give me a break. People have _got _to be smarter than that!

Anyway, here's us: Noeleen, Sophie , Annabel , and me. We weren't — and aren't the really, really popular ones. That's the Gryffindor girls. But we weren't at the bottom of the social ladder. We were reasonably popular, but not _really_ that popular enough.

**16:40**

Oh, alright. I know you are jonesing for a physical description dear diary, and let it not be said that I deprive my readers. I hereby give you Elaine Lewis's five perfect, ideal qualities — and five I justifiably hate.

1. No zits/ boobs.

2. Good muscle tone for Quidditch / tendency to waxy ears.

3. Long dark natural eyelashes / bad eye sight. So glasses always obscure eyelashes anyway, effectively negating them.

4. Reasonably unhairy body / tummy that will never be entirely flat & might even are stuck out in a completely embarrassing fashion after a large meal.

5. Cute gap between front teeth / propensity to sweat in nervous-making situations.

You picture me right?

**17:00**

I just realized I never told you what house I was in! _"Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind." _Yes, that's right! Ravenclaw here!

Now, I should best should be paying attention Transfiguration isn't my strongest subject. Until later, "dear diary"!

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><p><span>Thursday, May 19<span>

**8:00**

So, my first draft of the Boyfriend list I wrote down Sirius and Mulciber. Then I added Fabian at the beginning, with a question mark next to his name. Then Peter, the guy who was my first kiss (I KNOW, but it's not like I wanted to..) — putting him in between Fabian and Sirius.

Then I went to sleep.

No luck.

So I stayed all night thinking about boys (well, more than usually). Never in a million years would I expect the list to be that long. The list was all scribbly looking, with arrows zooming around to show the order the boys should go in. It was a mess, so in Charms I recopied it in my best writing and threw away the old one.

A bad idea, you think? Tossing such a document in a garbage can? Well, dear diary you're smarter than me. Well that isn't saying much, because I'm an idiot. I wonder what the hat was thinking while sorting me in Ravenclaw.

**12:00**

Well let's start with boy number one on the list, Gilderoy Lockhart.


End file.
